The Weiner Shack

ATTENTION WALMART SHOPPERS

Click on it to read the quote my friend Debra made...

OUR ANNIVERSARY

Our latest Mr. Weiner Shack Ad

LETTER

Here's a l'il note I'm gonna stick on my neighbor's door:

From the desk of Wanda Pinkett:

To my damn trailer-trash neighbors,
Please make it said that I, Mrs. Wanda Buford-Pinkett, am askin' ya'll in the sweetest of ways to keep yer fuckin' used-up pink rolls of insulation out of our front yard!!!  My Lurlene brought it in OUR trailer, threw it on her floor, and said "Mama, look at my new wall-to-wall carpetin'."  Needless to say I've been pickin' out shard a' glass from her feet fer the past 4 days!  Thank God she didn't sit next down on it with her cooter exposed to do her naked Yoga, like she does.

I really need to know when all this crap's gonna end. First, it's yer moldy shower curtain that y'all rolled up in a ball and threw up onto my porch which Lulene turned into, what I called, "her mildew dress," then it was that old refrigerator that my legless little Bubba crawled into and was disappeared fer 2 days (luckily he had a couple 'a snack puddings in his cut-off cargo pants fer nourishment).  If y'all can't throw away yer crap like the rest of us, in your OWN yard, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson which is sumthin' I hate to do...

I'm goin' off to Walgreen's now to buy some sharper tweezers for my glass pickin' but I'll be back in an hour, and when I get back I expect an apology from y'all (and NO, a package of Mallomars doesn't cut it...though a sixer 'a Pabst might).

Thanks fer yer ear,
Wanda Pinkett

P.S. I apologize fer writin' this on an old Fritos bag, but I ran outta paper.

PICK THE NEW POSTCARD

Which one of these two designs do ya like better?  Lemme know...

UPDATE: Postcard A has been chosen and is off to the printers as of Feb. 17, 2005.  Thanks to all for the feedback.

MR. WEINER SHACK

WANTED: We are lookin' fer contestants of the Mr. Weiner Shack Contest happ'nin' on th' 31st of August. Contestants can do whatever th' hell they wanna -- whether they sang, shoot ping pong balls out a' their assholes, or just have a large weiner they think is prize winnin'. The winner gets not only th' title of Mr. Weiner Shack Sept. but also gets t' drink free at Earl's throughout the month of September, gets his picture on the wall, and will win a l'il bit a' cash t' tips th' bartenders with.

Here's the details:
MR. WEINER SHACK (for Sept.) CONTEST
Tuesday August 31st, 2004
Earl's Weiner Shack @ The Slide
1 am
Contestants must sign up by midnight
$3 cover from 11:30 'til 2am
Hosted by PORSCHE

Be there!

NEW FLYER

L'il Bubba made us up a new flyer fer our Tuesday Night party and it looks like this:

Ain't he creative?

CLEANED UP

Sorry I aint written in a couple of days...Earl and I got stuck cleanin' up the mess people made on Tuesday night over at The Shack. There was Pabst cans everywhere, broken shot glasses, panties hangin from the light fixtures... just a big ol' m.e.s.s.

Hope y'all can stop by one Tuesday night when we have our weekly party. It's a lot of fun, I promise, and anything that can tear me away from finishing up my videotaped stories is alright by me. Earl has the Dancin' Big Weiner Boys up on the makeshift stage we got. Some'll even get naked and let ya' do shots off their body. I tried it a couple 'a weeks ago and tore up my tongue pretty good on the dancers chest stubble (he hadn't shaved in a few days and he's got real coarse hair so...) I couldn't taste my own cookin' fer darn well 5 days. I nearly burnt up my kid's mouth 'cuz I put too much red pepper flakes in the chili for my Frito Pie and couldn't taste it myself to tell. Earl was sweating for hours after that meal.

Gotta run. Lurlene is goin' on a date and I'm helpin' her with her eye makeup.