Here is a play-by-play of the red carpet arrivals at the 2009 VMAs as well as the show itself...
Lady Gaga looks like the lead actress in the upcoming Phantom of the Moulin Rouge. And I hate to say this but showing up with Kermit is kinda Fonzie-Idling-On-The-Edge-of-the-Shark-Tank.
Taylor Swift arrives in a white carriage pulled by 2 white horses. It's very Newark, NJ Sweet 16 entrance. Fortunately her dress is gorgeous...for the Oscars.
Alicia Keys looks beautiful - classy and giving 60s realness. Closeted lesbians have rockin' stylists...
"The Tweets are going insane". Is this for real..???
Why is the video for Fame filmed on that cheesy fake NYC set in Hollywood? I'm waiting for Jerry, Elaine, Kramer and George walk by.
Oh, Jermaine Jackson...how do you get that wax mannequin look down so perfectly? Do you have your hair painted on daily or is that a shellacked bathing cap?
What is JLo doing there? Oh, she's presenting and hocking her new album. The look is a bit much, or maybe I just don't get it.
Beyonce is THE lady in red tonight. Simple, elegant, pretty. Whatves - she's just geeee-or-gheee-ussss.
Look at how purdy Blair Waldorf looks in silver... J'adorable.
HERE COMES THE SHOW!!!!!!!!!
MADONNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are such a lady all dressed in black, and what not. And Miss Lady is serious - respect that, people. Kudos to her.
Pete Wentz is sad.
So's Diddy.
And Pink.
Taylor Swift is not.
Well done, Madonna. The Queen has spoken.
Opening number is already turning me out... And Janet has even come on. Yet.
And mama's BAAAAAAAAAACK!!! (In a bad pleather outfit, howevs...)
Best performance with a dead relative since Natalie Cole. You can quote me on that.
And now it's being ruined by Katy Perry attempting to sing. Hopefully this us all she'll do tonight...
Russell Brand is in Thom Brown. With a cheap hat.
No, Megan Fox, Eminem is not performing.
Russell is getting political and giving shout outs to Barack and taking about hermaphrodites (see: Lady Gaga). He wants to hang his hat on her erect penis.
AGGGGGGGGHHHH - Kanye's lady is spooky tonight. That necklace makes her head look like it's on a platter.
She Wolf and Wolf Man from Twilight. How very. (BTW Shakira - Pink's wearing it better. Sorry.)
I'm sorry - did he just say Taylor Swift wins the Best Female video???
KANYE????????? YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE.