Narcissism 101

WHEN SOFIA MET SANTA

So tonight's the night...

Tonight I spin The Glitter Ball in The Rainbow Room. I will not only give Marc my Kelis 1920's Milkshake mix, but I may just throw in a little Wing.

EXIT STAGE RIGHT, EVEN

It's not safe to be an actress on Broadway these days. Examples of this are:

* Mary Tyler Moore walked out of the new Neil Simon play Rose's Dilema minutes before a Wed. matinee was to begin due to a note written to her by the author himself. It told her to "learn her lines or get off the stage." A riot amonst the blue hairs in the audience ensued.

* Producers of The Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All made sure Ellen Burstyn only told it once as it closed the day after it opened.

* In true Jill Munroe style, Farrah Fawcett (nee Majors) whipped out a gun and told her on-stage husband to freeze then demanded that he give her her next line during her final performance of Bobbi Boland. The producers thought it best to give Farrah a little rest so they closed the show...until she gets out of rehab.

* Jasmine Guy was hopped up on something and replaced by her understudy in The Violet Hour. An insider tells us said understudy brought her a cup of green tea before the performance. Press reps for the show announced, "Nomi Malone is what Broadway is all about".

* Jenna Elfman apparently couldn't untangle herself for the tye-dyed sheets she demanded during her extra rehearsals for Nine. Like they say, "Dharma's a boomerang."

* Marlee Matlin will not be joining the cast of Legally Blonde when it comes to Broadway because she's legally deaf.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Just just some random things floating around in my head...

* Watch Paris' new show tonight on Fox.
* I need to find some new music to spin...the more acapella/instrumental versions of songs that I can get, the better.
* Alicia Keys' new CD is out today.
* There's gonna be a lotta exposed dick up in The Slide Tuesday night.
* I hate my clothes...I need new stuff to wear.
* I've grown oh-so-tired of this crizzap.
* Andy Towle's site rocks me...who knew the drag scene in Australia was so progressive??
* I finally watched Fiddler on the Roof (because it was on and mommy was bored) and could only think of Coco Peru doing her Fruma-Sarah monologue.
* I love my friends (but this is something I think about daily)
* Cyndi Lauper's new CD is on repeat in my CD player.
* This is my girl Keisha (who's face is painted back!!!!) wearing a Johnny McGovern T-Shirt. Buy something from him, kids.

STARRING PARIS HILTON

Just watched a clip of the Paris Hilton/Rick Solomon independent feature they did together, and now kinda love Paris more than ever. The girl answers her cell phone in the middle of sex.

As a human being I feel bad for her...having your private business all exposed and what not can't be fun. On the other hand, mayhaps this'll learn her that those who live by the cameras, die by the cameras. Think about that next time you give your famous head-cock pose (no pun intended.)

LACE 3

Which one of you bitches is my mother?

THE PORN STAR?

THE PREMATURELY BALDING POP STAR?

OR THE NUN?