OPEN LETTER #5

Dear Britney, Paris and Lindsay,

Does it really chafe your pudendas that much to wear panties?  You know you can't but Cheetos and cigarettes without having someone there taking your picture, so what makes you think they won't get a shot of your freshly shaved cooter while you're getting out of your car??  And is it a coincidence that the three of you freeballers (can I call what you do "freeballing"?) hang in the same circle?  Is this your way of winking at the world? A simple eye wink with from a wonky eye would suffice.

Please try...TRY-Y-Y-Y to be tasteful.  It's not gonna be pretty when the photographers stop hounding you, I can assure you (see: Tara Reed), so the least you can do until then is retain what's left of your dignity.

Kisses,

Aaron Elvis James

DAYS LEFT IN OFFICE: 782

Comments

[bobby Jack]

Maybe this is the new age of Playboy? You know that some dirty valet is licking the seats. Hot!!