Alright, so...I'm not a big fan of "let's-get-to-know-all-our-friends-better-by-mass-e-mailing-stupid-questionaires" so I usually either delete them or type back inane answers. The latest one I recieved falls into a category I like to call "let's-save-that-info-for-the-locker-room".
1. Are you Hetero, Homo, Lesbo or Bi? Bi-Coastal.
2. What is your favorite position? Vice President...or CEO.
3. What is your favorite sexual activity. Outdoor Running.
4. Have you ever incorporated food into love making? Does going for dinner before sex count? How 'bout calling for reservations during a blowjob?
5. Have you ever been beaten or whipped? Usually after a hard day at work I feel extremely exhausted...so yes.
6. Are you a talker or are you silent in bed? I talk in my sleep.
7. Have you ever had someone put a popsicle up your ass? No. But I hear that Bomb Pops feel best...they're ribbed for her pleasure.
8. Have you ever rimmed anyone? As in "pimping someone's ride"? No, I'm more of an interior decorator than an automobile detailer.
9. Do you have bondage fantasies? I fantasize about bonded teeth. Courtney Love's usually come to mind first.
10. Are you into pain of any kind? Just mental anguish.
11. Are you into inflicting pain? See # 10.
12. What is your favorite part of your lovers body? His cock.
13. What is your favorite part of your own body? My ass. It's juicy. Hey...you asked.
14. If you're a dude, have you ever fucked an inanimate object? If so then
what? Can't remember his name, but I had to put a mirror up to his nostrils to find out if he was still breathing.
15. If you're a chick, what's the strangest thing you've ever put in your
vagina? I'm not a "chick", but I think if I had a vagina I'd have it removed. Too much work.
16. Have you ever been pee'd on? Once...accidentally. I walked up behind George Michael while he was "making water" in the Sony Records men's room, poked my index finger in the middle of his back and said, "You're under arrest." He screamed, turned around quickly, and piddled on my new Prada khakis. Learned my lesson, lemme tell you.
17. What would you never ever consider doing in bed? Drinking red wine. My sheets are way too costly for accidental spills.
18. What's the largest number of sex partners you've had at the same time? (aka orgies ) 28. No, wait..that was in that Lucas Story 2 film...
19. How would you rate youself as a sexual partner? 9.5 / 9.5 / 10 / 8.9 / 9.5 / and from France 3.1
I have been laughing so hard, I also 16'ed!
Posted by: David | Friday, May 21, 2004 at 01:14 PM