Dear Sarah Palin,
Thank you for your uplifting, positive speech you gave us, the American people, last night. I also love how you got the entire convention center to "boo" at them two-faced Democrats. Attagirl! Plus, you looked amazing in that warm, gray coat/dress - it really brought out your glasses.
Here are some of my favorite
zingers quotes from you last night:
"I guess a small town mayor is sort of like a community organizer - except that you have actual responsibilities." Yes. Responsibility to 7,000 rather than hundreds of thousands. 'Tis better to fight for a new stop sign at the Main Street hub than fight for human rights, I always say.
"This is a man who can give an entire speech about the wars America is fighting and never use the word victory except when he's talking about his own campaign." Because we've been SO victorious in both Iraq and Afghanistan fighting them terrorists and bringing peace and freedom to those who haven't asked for it. Kudos, us!
"But when cloud of rhetoric is passed, when the roar of the crowd fades away, when the stadium lights go out and those styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot..." Them pesky
Roman Greek columns that make up most of Washington, D.C. needs t' go! Oh, and the rest of that set that, I guess, was supposed to resemble some kind of office... A Greek god's office, maybe!
Okay, I can't do this anymore. I can't sit here and pretend I'm not offended by your crappy self-serving speech. Those "Greek columns" were there to emulate the White House and the Oval Office - the blue carpeting with the stars should have been a tip-off. Hopefully you'll never be able to see the real thing. That would make me happy.
Oh, and by the way, lipstick is not the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom. It's untethered aggressiveness. And, Sarah Palin, you're nothing more than an aggressive-acting hockey mom. Sorry.
All my best,
Aaron E. James
DAYS LEFT IN OFFICE: 137