Congratulations! You have not only wimped out by choosing the safe (yet edgy...ooooooh!) Crash over everyone's-favorite-movie-this-year-but-yours Brokeback Mountain, you've also successfully depressed gays across America. Yes, the gays are walking around with faces as bleak as the day they heard Bush was re-elected. That bleak. In fact you may have outed a few people at work or to their family and friends as their long faces can't help but show their gay shame. Shame caused by you.
Pat yourselves on the back for a job well done.
All my best,
Aaron Elvis James
P.S. Watch your back next time you drive through West Hollywood. Or when you get your highligts done. Or when you have your next meeting with Kevin Spacey.
P.P.S. Nice try on over-waxing the floors and trying to make Jennifer Garner slip. Too bad Sydney Bristow knows a thing or two about sabotage.